Actually, I'm damn stupid. The summarised idea is this: I wanted to major Psychology since dunno when. I use my friend's RP library card just to borrow reading materials coz my JC library/National Lib don't carry them.
Then when I join NTU biz (HAHA. Not psych coz I used to work in a bank, the personal banker uncle told me Psychology 没饭吃 blah blah), I was bent on doing Psych minor. Which I didn't btw, due to a bunch of circumstances I shan't bother you with. When I finally managed to get that Intro to Psych into my schedule, I was Yr 3, and I actually actually really want to switch major but then I cannot abandon FYP mates. Then I read everything before the lecture, turn up to morning lect on time (damn rare), answer the prof in a Lecture like a tiong (first time doing this too). Ok la, but he's an awesome prof really. I'm so into him, you know why? Coz he used to be a Physics major but he switch after an intro to Psych mod in his uni days (and the crush on his teacher. LOL)
Sorry for the detailed summary. So the 重点 is.. even 1 day before my convo ceremony, I actually wanted to go back to admin office and apply to transfer but I thought of my younger sis (tuition loan issues) then I decided I can't be dreaming.
And so after I started work, it occurred to me that even if 1 day I can rise to the top of my current career path: Hedge Fund Manager (highly impossible), the passion to stock pick, trade, hedge, watch bloomberg news whichever is just not in me.
What do I want to do with the PhD or Masters? (probably not stopping at Bachelors) I want to help lots of people. If I become prof, I want to conduct studies to understand social ties, family bonds, marriages, children, to make the world a better place (if they bother to read them, or if APA approved my controversial studies). I thought of forensic psych too, but my primary goal is to help kids with their growing woes, coz during my time, nobody understood mine.
Whichever the case, I'm by personality very idealistic. I boycott tobacco coy employment, because of their bad externalities. I will never sell insurance because it's just selling actuarial statistics on your probable accident rate/chance of death occurring in the next few years. Yes. Basically, I suck so much, my pragmatic engineer acquaintance couldn't stand talking to me. HAHA
Yes.... Those were the crux of my life crisis now.
On a side note:
And even if all else fail, I didn't actually want to be a journalist. It's just because it's a common track that journalists turn into authors. Yes. I wanted to be an author. Since sec 2, I think. Yes, I'm that random Stephanie Meyer wannabe. I mean Twilight isn't that fantastic. It's just soft porn to some extend.
But why didn't I take E.Lit? Coz the teacher despise Chinese speaking students (neighbourhood school environment btw) and I in turn despise her for despising us.
Oh psych/soci and fiction ties, coz I've been analysing stories I've read and the settings/characters almost ALWAYS ends up to be an innovating deviant (even our dearest Bella Swan of Twilight). If I could psychoanalyse them (fictitious characters), I will, because I'm just so interested to get to know more about his/her mind. To put it simply, if I can have superpowers, I would want to be a mind reader (like our dearest Edward Cullen, probably minus the diamond-skin-in-the-sun-bullshyt).
Oh and NONE of my stories actually made sense in terms of setting (like location) simply because I can't fit that Singapore thing. It kills the idea. And I wasn't in Europe long enough for the feeling to sink in. And I was in Japan long enough, but English can hardly express Japanese expressions (such as the なか and そと concept). ARGH damnit.
I'm off to bed. Sian. Still stuck in crisis...
Screw the settings... Cannot unhighlight my entry now.
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